God’s faithful servant, Daryl

Preamble:  This missive may not be completely perfect in progression of thought, but hang in there with me.  I’m not sure I’ll explain this well, but I’m gonna try. 

I’ve often wondered why God does not heal Daryl.  I have never met a more humble, honest, godly man than Daryl.  I have met men as godly, but never more so.  For the 36 (almost) years of our marriage, and the year before when I met him, his life has consistently been characterized by a faithfulness to the Word and to prayer.  He shepherds his flock at Countryside, and his flock at home.  So, of course I am amazed that God does not heal His faithful servant Daryl of his cancer.  And foot pain.  And fatigue. 

I thoroughly understand that God does not heal everyone of illnesses, and that His glory is the ultimate goal of all things in our lives.  I understand that nothing He does is wrong, and I don’t waste time on the “Why, God?” stuff.  I trust Him.  But I DO wonder sometimes, why did Jesus heal so many people, but not Daryl. 

I’ve even  gone the (wrong) route of, “is my faith too small?”  “Am I the holdout?”

So, I’ve been reading Matthew (not the son, the Bible book) 9. Jesus started by meeting people’s physical needs at the feeding of the 5000 back in chapter 6.  Free food gets people to listen.

Then, over and over Jesus healed people…masses of people…people who just touched Him…family members of disciples.  And He did it willingly, not sparingly.  It’s always been hard for me to read about all those healings, and not extrapolate it into Daryl’s need.  Today, I think I began to get the picture. 

After healing the masses, Jesus healed the demoniacs, and sent the demons into the herd of swine.  Okay, that affected the area’s economics, so the locals told Jesus to please depart their region. They didn’t get all excited about the man who was now well and in his right mind.

After that, the paralytic was brought to Jesus by his friends.  Jesus saw their faith, and said, “Son, be of good cheer; your sins are forgiven you.” Of course the Scribes yelled “Foul!  Only God can forgive sins, you’re blaspheming!”

Jesus (who is taking things beyond the shallowness of the “heal me next, heal me next” cries of the people) says, “okay, which is easier?  To say ‘your sins are forgiven you’ or ‘arise and walk’.  To let you know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins,” (turning here to the paralytic) “arise and take up your bed and go to your house.” 

That’s where I always miss the point.  The focus of the people was on the healings.The emphasis Jesus was trying to project in training his disciples here was His power to forgive sins. Jesus started off tending to physical needs. The healings were out of both Jesus’ compassionate heart, and His plan to train his disciples to focus on the eternal.  Matthew is showing us the progression of a plan to take those who follow Christ from self centered to seeing God.  

Then comes the point of it all…Matthew 9:8  “Now when the multitudes saw it, they marveled and glorified God”

The healings were not the point.  They were an avenue to bring the disciples' thinking from Point A to Point G.  God’s Glory.  To take us from the self-centeredness of “this will make me happy.  Being well will make my heart be of good cheer” to the point of understanding that my concept of happy is not eternal.  It is temporal.  God wants me to grasp and embrace the eternal.  Salvation, a right heart with God, is eternal. 

God is using Daryl’s illness to glorify Himself.  I knew that, and embraced it.  But I still wondered why God doesn’t heal Daryl, His faithful servant.  Like the people Jesus was teaching, my focus was on the healing. For whatever reason, Daryl with cancer glorifies God in a way that Daryl healed wouldn’t.  I’ll continue to ask God to heal Daryl.  But now, I’m confident that when He says “wait”, then it is for His own glory, and not because I lack faith.  My faith is, and always has been, in the right place.  :-)  And that, dear ones, makes my heart “Be of good cheer.”

What I have learned as a Mother…

Being a Mom has been good for me. The experiences of Motherhood have been way beyond what I ever expected. 

I remember the night I went into labor with Daniel.  My overwhelming thought was, “There is NO way out of this!!!”  (Delivery, not motherhood.)  I’m so glad there wasn’t, or I’d have missed the ride of my life!

I’ve learned to sacrifice and love it, I’ve learned to stay up late, I’ve learned that I have to trust God to lead you, I’ve (almost) learned to listen and choke down words, I’ve learned that being a good parent on your own strength isn’t possible…leading your children in the Lord is.  I’ve learned it takes a church to raise a child.  I’m so grateful to all those in our church body who invested in our children and their spiritual growth. 

I want to thank you, Daniel, Andrew, Matthew, and Emily for taking me down a wonderful, interesting, full, rich path.  Just some of the memories along the way…in no particular order:

Scouting, camping, Debate (both between me and each of you, and when Daniel was on the Debate Team), Church plays, band, choir, home schooling, private schooling, public schooling, PTA, Skateboard Hill, Friblings, picking up the front line of the Varsity Harwood football team and keeping the van door open from the smells, reading books, movies, UHF, Pyromaniac’s Love Story, Princess Bride, art, the Giant Smiley Face, Computers, making dresses together, “girl time”, Peak, Odyssey of the Mind, 11 pm talks and tears, hashing out life together, reading stories, fun in the cul-de-sac, boyfriends, girlfriends, finding the love of your lives, weddings, funerals, births, being part of the friends from SACS in San Antonio, the River Walk, the Alamo, Ben Dog, Birthday Parties, swimming, swim team, Grandaddy’s Lake, cousins, editing papers, baking, mealtime, talking biscuits, my ability to garble words, sand box fun, building the swing set, BB guns, machetes, raking leaves, Cardboard Boat Races, Quiet Times, young heads in my lap trying to both grow up and not grow up, hugs, partings, coming together again, chalk drawings on the driveway, driving you to youth group, clay-mation, making movies, editing movies, Christmas Parties, Omega Virus,

…and watching you grow into 4 of the finest young men and lady I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.

I love you, kids, and love the life we’ve shared together.  On this Mother’s Day, I want to thank YOU for being fun, for being the godly persons you are, and for your love for me. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

W is for Whitney

I think Whitney is the last of the family members for the alphabet.  Whitney is my son Daniel’s wife.  My mother-in-law taught me that there does not have to be a protagonistic relationship between mom’s and their son’s wives.  My mom has a good relationship with Daryl.  So it followed that I when I gained my first daughter-in-law, it was with the anticipation of a pleasant relationship.  Whitney has blessed our family in countless ways.  She and Daniel used to come to me while they were courting, and ask questions on spiritual issues, so I was allowed to get to know her on a deeper level early on.

Whitney loves our Daniel, and does an incredible job of travelling the terrain of being a pastor’s wife.  God has granted her great wisdom and insights as a parent, and as a counselor to others. 

Thanks, Whitney, for loving Daniel and being a great Mom to 4 of our grandkids and for being a great daughter in law!  Blessings today and always!

V is for Vacations

We have had some fun vacations over the years.  I would say we actually had two kinds of vacations.  Most often, when we left the house, it would be to head for Arkansas to visit Daryl’s family.  We would go to Heber Springs, Arkansas, and play in the “Swimming Hole” at the lake and eat watermelon and enjoy time with siblings and cousins.  We’d stay up late, and at night, the cousins would sleep in the living room floor, spread out side by side in sleeping bags.  Oldest cousin got the couch, youngers were on the floor.  Granddaddy had a Ben Franklin stove in the garage, and during winter months, he’d have a fire going and would roast peanuts.  He had a huge garage, and about half of it was dedicated to pool.  This huge pool table came with the house, and generation after generation of kids grew up playing pool.  There were lots of times, when there were young ones, that the men and older boys would be playing pool, and the younger ones would be pulling a red wagon around the pool players.  There was a playground out back where the kids could play on swings and a spinning Jenny.

The other kind of vacation was when my folks came to see us.  My folks lived a 2-day trip away, which meant that by the time we spent 4 days on the road, our vacation time was spent, so my folks came to see us, usually for 2 weeks at a time.  I wasn’t working at the time, so I was home, and able to entertain and play with them.  They generally came at Spring Break or summertime, when the kids were off.  What fun we had!  No matter what city we lived in, we’d do the touristy things that our family seldom did without company.  In San Antonio, we’d do the River Walk and River boat rides.  We took picnics to the playground.  Mom would read to the kids, or do crafts.  In Bedford, we’d often find our way to things we had never done alone.  Once, we went to the Mesquite Rodeo.  Dub had such a good time!   I remember once, Mom went to the kids’ schools and told stories to their classes.

So, I’d say we have a history of some very fine vacation times.  We made lots of memories with lots of family members. 

U is for Underestimated

Something Daryl and I learned is that most people are underestimated.  For example, Daryl went on a campout with some men and boys.  He knew most of the men there, and considered some of them to be okay, but a bit shallow.  As they sat around a campfire and shared things about themselves, he realized that some of the men he thought to be shallow were men who had been through some deep troubles, or had served as missionaries. Their lives had depth. He realized that they were much deeper spiritually than he thought.  He had underestimated them. 

It’s an easy mistake to make.  We have surface relationships with people, and fail to take time for deeper conversations, in which we learn more about the real lives of people we come in contact with.  Sometimes, just one or two questions showing sincere interest will open up a person to share themselves. 

Since that time, I have tried not to underestimate people as much. Everyone has a story.  Everyone needs someone to show a sincere interest in them, and to have the Love of the Lord expressed to them.  Most always, I’m the one who walks away encouraged and awed by God’s work in others. 

T is for Teresa

Teresa is my sister.  There are just the two of us (so far as siblings go).  She is married to Tom, who is an awesome husband and friend to her.  He’s a good friend to us, too.  But, let’s get back to Teresa.  This isn’t about Tom!  :-)

When we were little, and in elementary school, I remember that she entered school when I was in 3rd or 4th grade.  There were dance “twist” contests at recess, and I didn’t want her to catch me, so I made her go away and not watch.  (I figured she’d tell Grandma, who had NO use for dancing!)  That’s a mistake I still regret…I should have gotten her into the contest too, so we’d both be in trouble, and join forces in keeping our secret! 

We lived with my grandparents for a few years, while Mom was in college, and had great times with our two boy cousins, who would spend the week during summers when their parents both worked.  We had so much fun playing monopoly and outside games, and just generally enjoying being cousins.  That’s when I developed the belief that cousins and siblings are the best thing to have for a kid! 

She has been through the loss of a child and cancer.  Those are big things in life.  Yet, through it all, she will tell you that God is good, and that He is always good. 

My sister is now a best friend.  Even though we’re far apart geographically, our hearts are ever soldered together.  We share history and memories and heritage that I will never be able to share with anyone else.  We are making new memories as adult friends.  I count her as one of my greatest treasures. 

Love you, Sis!

S is for Sarcasm

I’m not much on sarcasm.  The rest of my family are all adept at the art of sarcasm…however, when I try to be sarcastic, it just sounds mean.  Therefore, I swore off sarcasm decades ago. 

As a result, or perhaps I was this way anyway, I don’t enjoy sarcasm coming toward me, either, so I informed my kids years ago that I am not an available target.  I’ve never gotten the hang of the gracious deflection.  So, I admit that I don’t enjoy sarcasm when it’s aimed at a person.  It is, however, fun to sit by someone who has the art of gentle sarcasm that doesn’t sting or hurt, and they mutter little comments under their breath.  (I’m thinking of you, Andrew!) 

You’d think I could have come up with something more creative for S than this!  :-)